A Million

How you write is not how I write, or even how a third person may write. We all make this journey differently, mine is a slow hesitant typing that stops, starts, and stops again before forcing my concious to continue. Ohh hey, a new Youtube video … that cat is adorable. Anyways, my writing habit is not ideal, which is an understatement. I would like to cultivate a better habit since this is unproductive. But to force oneself to sit in front of a computer and type out each symbol, each word; typing can be lonesome and exhausting. At the same time, writing can be cathartic, to let the ideas percolate within the brain and type out words and concepts that bring both the writer and reader to view and learn about the world differently.  Words written, words read, they can come together to make a puzzle piece, sometimes that piece will match up to the reader and bring them joy and sometimes the piece will no longer fit. But, at one point, the words of a writer bridged a gap and resonated. 

You may only write for yourself, you may be writing for friends, and then you might be writing to be published. If writing to be published is your goal, then I hope you get published; the inexhaustible maw of readers is there and ever consuming. I ask that you write well, put your heart and brain into the work. From what I have seen though, it can be a storm filled life, but also a life full of possibilities and friendships beyond a page. 

I look to write, to make good stories, this is the goal that I would like to focus on. In the past I focused on writing, yet they were not stories, no, these were words put down for a blog that I cultivated in my late teens and early 20s. I tried to give each of the blog a point, in my ignorance or “mysterious” ways, well, those points flopped by trying to be elusive and keep from pointing a finger or making a large neon sign. I let words flow, circle like a vortex that endlessly spun and obfuscated. The words were never meant to hold up against time or bare my soul, truthfully it was more akin to screaming into the void, and there were times that the void screamed back “keep it down.”   

Even if the blog was not quite what I expected, it did give me words on a page which is something. Words on a page reminds me though of the million words saying, which has multiple iterations – you have to write a million words before you’re good; you need to write a million words of crap; style only comes out once you’ve hit a million words. An interesting saying as they all go, if only because it signifies a milestone that a writer can reach for. Finding out your style or voice at a million words though, it feels wrong. 

I pushback on this statement, It’s not about reaching a million or more, it’s about the journey in being a writer. It’s about your depth of knowledge expanding, honing your skills, and growing beyond what you thought you were originally capable of. Maybe that is all it’s missing, the clarification. Write a million words, publish said words, and hey you now have a book and you’re an author to boot. If you self publish, did anyone look at your story, did anyone comment on pacing, the words, the content, the understanding? Before it was published did you question how it was coming across? Was feedback asked for, given, and paid attention to? THese are general statements meant to garner thought and question the work. Not question like why you are writing, but could it be better or do the peers that have come before me have suggestions that you can learn from?

A writer can produce the same type or combination of words, day after day, and still be writing the exact same things. If they put a million words down like that, did they grow? Sure they might have a published book, but what are you actually getting out of it? How does this book even speak to others? Putting your ass in the chair and producing the words is just a first step. The next step is reviewing, critiquing, and cutting into every single word, subject, and scene. As I said a million words can be a good goal, but just words alone does not make a person an accomplished writer. 

This piece has been typed, retyped, and cut so many times before you, the reader, will have seen it. For the simler reason that it sucked before I even reviewed or edited it to begin with. Is this a good blog or coherent? Maybe not as much as it could be. I do know that the blogs I wrote in the past, pale to how much effort and thought that has gone into this document. Have I written a million words? I don’t know, nor do I care. To reiterate, I can write a million words and still produce utter crap, what matters is the lessons I’ve learned, the failures that I’ve endured, and the skills I’ve picked up from peers and readings.  

I already know some things that I’ve failed at, those failures have made me a better person and given me new skills to hone. The milestones before me and the achievements behind me, they hone me into being a better writer and person … but again, it’s the culmination of all of it, not just typing words on a page.